As a result, they seek out older men who act with more sophistication and class. These men may be worldly, financially secure, and over many of the games they played in their younger years. On the other hand, the women might be feeling the maternal instincts kicking in and want to start a family soon. Older men are more likely to settle down sooner and begin a family. Although an older man might enjoy dating a younger woman and vice versa, there can be disadvantages to this type of relationship. Well-intentioned family members and friends may lecture that the relationship will not work.
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In a Me Too world, is it worth exploring the power dynamics that exist when an older man pursues a much younger woman? Memoirist Joyce Maynard thinks so. Salinger when he was 52 and she was an year-old aspiring writer. Their love story was short-lived. After writing about the affair in a book published in , Maynard was labeled a leech and an opportunist by the literary world. Twenty years later, she wonders if people would see things differently had she published her story today.
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When I was 25, I spent a year dating a man 20 years older than me. The Older Man was also my editor, which added a power imbalance to the mix—a dynamic we all know can be equal parts problematic and irresistible. I wonder: What do we gain and lose from dating someone of a different generation?
An age gap is a beautiful thing that can be very fruitful for a marriage. Age, as we know, is a social construct. There are pretty common cases when couples are divided by years and years, yet they feel pretty much on the same page. Why is it so? The longer we stay together, the more common traits we acquire throughout our family life.